The Clan MacTrew (pronounced MAK Troooo) claims decent from the infamous Douglas the Insatiable of Colloden. Clan legend has it that many generations ago three brothers were ambushed by a formorian raiding party whilst hunting the haggis. The brothers held their own slaying many of the formor until the creatures routed teleporting back to their watery realm with one of the unconscious brothers, Douglas.

The legend continues that the formor had planned to capture a human to breed a diabolical hybrid of formorian and human to infiltrate and destroy the human clans. The formor had not, of course, counted on the intuition of Douglas who became suspicious of the formorian courtesan’s amorous advances to him (and lets face it who wouldn’t be). Realising that both he and the clans were in extreme danger Douglas devised a cunning plan to foil any evil formorian plot. Pretending to be sick Douglas claimed that he would die if he did not drink at least a barrel of ale each night. So it came to pass that with the "wine of the grain" performing its legendary powers upon him, Douglas thwarted the formorian courtesan’s seduction

Eventually the formor grew wise to Douglas’ ploy, not to mention the fact that they were running out of beer themselves (a horror that any Bear would wish on anyone even the formor). Now knowing that to deprive a Celt of his brew would no doubt result in many a formorian warrior death the formorian lord dispatched a party to "acquire" a magical potion that once added to Douglas’ nightly barrel would render him both wide awake and lascivious. The raiders returned with the foul brew (no doubt at the cost of some poor alchemist’s life) and the whole draught was placed in the keg for that evening.

As the evening wore on Douglas found that he was getting more and more sober the more he drank and not only that but in the watery light of the cavern that served as his bedchamber the formorian courtesans were starting to look "interesting". As Douglas drained the last dregs of the barrel his ardor rose to a critical mass to the point where the formorian plot was about to be consummated. The legend would probably have ended there (and badly) were it not for a heroic rescue made by Douglas’ brothers who, by diverse magic’s and guile had managed to teleport into Douglas’ "prison of passion". The brothers promptly subdued the hapless Douglas and teleported out back to the clan hearth. Thus were, the legend tells us, formor] foiled for a second time.

Although the rescue was successful in recovering Douglas physically unharmed form a fate worse than death (except for a small bruise from the subduing blow) the potion had been imbibed and now lay dormant awaiting activation. Activation came, as these things are want to do in legends, at the following full moon the effects of which will be omitted from this record due to their nature. It is noted that Douglas’ exploits are recorded in such epic poems MacTavish’s "The Night of the Maiden’s Fear", Anderson’s "Do[[[oglas [sic] and the Flock of Sheep]]]" and the elfin bard Willow Bark’s song "The Bear in the Bush".

The legend concludes with the tragic exile of Douglas and his family to the north western isles of Caledonia in an attempt to prevent any further occurrence of his "lunar liberties". Further more the MacTrew legend claims that the hearth council removed the right to ware the kilt from Douglas and his descendents as punishment, hence the clan name.

Other clans simply say that the MacTrew’s shun the kilt because they are "soft as fresh haggis dung" and that Douglas was a drunken hedonist with an eye for anything that moved and was never ambushed by anything other than the occasional hangover (a point of view backed up by several captured formor). This is strongly contested by the MacTrew and often results in the evoking of the traditional clan "trial by haggis".

Such is the stuff of legends. History however notes that Douglas the Insatiable was indeed exiled with his family to the outer islands and barred from wearing the kilt as a punishment for an unnamed misdemeanor. Beyond that the Clan MacTrew has been noted for their craftwork, travel exploits, taste for exotic alcoholic beverages and obscure sense of humor. A small enclave of incantors who established a retreat on the MacTrew islands some years ago are further noted for the production of elaborate illuminated documents and the inability to predict the weather.

In the spring of 1099 members of the Clan MacTrew returning to the island from traveling and wintering on the main land found their Clan hearth deserted and in a state of disrepair. Nothing is known of the fate of those who wintered on the island although it is suspected that they either fell foul of pirates or formorian raiders. The remnants of the clan abandoned their hearth and went to residing with allies or seeking adventure in the hope of discovering the truth behind the winter of 1098.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License

SSL configuration warning

This site has been configured to use only SSL (HTTPS) secure connection. SSL is available only for Pro+ premium accounts.

If you are the master administrator of this site, please either upgrade your account to enable secure access. You can also disable SSL access in the Site Manager for this site.